I'm tired

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Currently I'm suffering from encephalomegaly lol this term means the enlargement or swelling of the brain
my brain is full of info , I think it's gonna explode ... Oh my Beloved Brain , I love u .. My brain .. Ras malie :P
I'm so tired of studying , mo chena too much 7 years bas 3shan ashale3 teeth :P
I miss holidays , I can't wait 4 the summer holiday , I'll sleep a lot , I'll watch tennis , I'll exercise , I'll learn Spanish & do everything I wanna do
eeeeeee I'll also get my driving licence

Riding The Roller Coaster ....

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Hey everyone ..
it's that roller coaster time of the semester when u have 1 zillion thing to do
I'm so very worried about the results of my 1st English writing assessment , though I found it relatively easy , I'm freaking out at the moment , Imagining freaky stuff .. this is not Good , I need 2 4get about it & focus on the Biostatistic's Exam
I'm like , I must have skipped a part of the outline , or maybe I didn't punctuate the very last sentence .
I feel I did Good , InShallah I'll get a very good grade
so , 2 exams down & 4 2 go
Btw : Pinkiya's new nick name is Um 5aZ3al lol , Mine is Um 3ntar & 7loOm's is Um Mu6laG , what a nice combination :P
Poor Pinkiya, her Mum is now calling her Um 5aZ3al lol
Tom Tom "aka Fiona" will pay us a visit on Thursday Inshallah & she wanna attend Kuwait's History lecture with us , Allah Yaster 3asa ma ya6redha el.doc , I think maybe I should ask him 1st , it would B more appropriate , cuz not asking him seems rude :S I dunno we'll c
Can't wait 4 Thursday , it's gonna B a very special day =)

The Other Me

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الخسارة ... امر لا اطيقه
الرقم واحد ... رقمي المفضل
المستحيل ... ليس له مكان في حياتي
الفوز ... هدفي في هذه الحياة
و لذلك أنـا فتاة مميزة
بتلك الكلمات ، اجابتني عندما سألتها من انت ؟
مرحه ، ابتسامتها المشرقة مرتسمة على وجهها على الدوام
غريبه بعض الشيء ، شخصيتها محاطة بشيء من الغموض
ودوده ، و بلا شك مميزه يحبها الجميع
تقول لي ....
رأي الناس فيَ ، لم يعنِ لي يوماً شيئاً
بل على الاطلاق ، كان امراً لم اكترث له
كنت [ غريبة ] ، بين اهلي و احبابي
ينظر إلي الأخرون بعين الاستغراب
لطالما اعتقدت بأني مختلفة
مختلفة بطريقتي الخاصة

أؤمن بأنني [مميزة]
و بأني سأصنع التاريخ يوماً ما

كل ما اردته هو الفوز ، اردت ان اكون مع العظماء
اردت ان يشار إلي بالبنان
بإختصار ... أردت ان اكـــون الأفــضــل
لأنني اســتــحــق ذلــك

الانتقادات ، نعم تعرضت للكثير منها
و لكنني لم اعبء بأي منها
لن أكذب و اقول بانها لم تؤثر فيَ
بلى ، اثرت كثيراً ، جرحتني كلمات سمعتها من اقرب الناس
بكيت لوحدي كثيراً ، و ذرفت دموعي يوماً بعد يوم
و امامهم كنت كالصخرة ، قوية و متماسكة
حتى قيل لي ذات مرة بأنني قاسية [ القلب ]

عقلي كان سلاحي الأوحد
و لم اكن لأقبل أن يقلل احد من قدر هذا [ العقل ]
لانه بذلك يهين ذكائي
و هذا أمر لم و لن اقبله ما حييت
لعل كتمي لأحاسيسي كان اسوء ما فعلت
و كان الأفضل بطريقة ما
لأني اصبحت استخدمها كقواي الخفيه
فحين أحولها من طاقة سلبية لإيجابية كانت حتماً تعينني لتحقيق ما أريد
قبل اربع سنوات كانت البداية ... خسرت يومها و لم يعد الرقم واحد لي
بكيت كثيراً يومها ، و لم تفلح محاولات الجميع لإسعادي
لم ابكِ لأنني خسرت ، لا فالخسارة أمر حتمي لابد منه
بكيت لأنني لم أبذل قصارى جهدي ، بكيت لأنني قللت من قدر منافستي
بكيت لأنني ظننت بأنني لن أخسر يوماً
و بأن الرقم [1] سيكون دوماً ملكي
يومها قررت أن اعطيَ الكل القدرَ ذاته من الاحترام
مهما كانت قدراتهم قليلة ، و اياً كان رأيي فيهم
يومها وعدت نفسي بأنني سأبذل جهدي
وعدت نفسي بأنني لن أخسر يوماً
و منذ ذلك اليوم لم أخـســر قــط
انتهى كلامها ، و حينها احسست بأنها حقاً The Other Me
لعل الاختلافات بيننا كثيرة ، الا أن وجه الشبه طغى على تلك الاختلافات
إنها حقاً مـمـيزة ، و ليس لدي أدنى شك بأنها ستكون في مصاف العظماء
انتهى ...
محاولتي الأولى بالعربية ، اتمنى ان تنال اعجابكم
Plz don't hesitate 2 point out any mistake , no matter how small it is
I would appreciate it
دمتم بود


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Sometimes you see your life so dark in black and white, you look for colours that you can't find , you look for Love, Hope, PeaCe and Faith knowing that they're not there, and you start wondering!
What's wrong? Is it my eyes?
When a whisper you hear, tells you it’s your heart
looking inside you see a tired black heart with a small white spot fighting to stay alive & you wonder Once again ...
can this small white spot defeat the black ? erase it , fill it with colours & bring it back to life ?
p.s. sth I wrote Back on Wednesday 21st-Dec-05

Mo 9ij =S

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la2 Dr.Z mo Min 9ijah O_o I have to work from scratch on Jaber the 2nd , but u know what !! that's o.k I'll do whatever I have 2 in order 2 get a Full Mark =)
poor 7alOom & Pinkiya , they r so shocked & upset ba3ad ChabDi My Dear Friends.
they were so upset that even when Dr.Z said Funny stuff during the Lecture they were like Nah .. Not so funny , I couldn't do that , he's just so funny lol . So, I went 2 the library yesterday & found absolutely nothing , dad went 2 other two libraries looking for a specific book that I was told that it's baned in Kuwait, But nothing 2 :(
the Funny thing is that my visit to the library yesterday was My very 1st , 2day I was thinking of the research all the time , even during the examination "I did well though , I guess .. al7amdollelah", which was really disturbing , cuz I always like 2 keep my mind focus on 1 thing at a time , another very funny thing is that I was telling 7alOom & Pinkiya how I laughed out on My brother when he said he didn't know what FAT,which was mentioned By Dr.Z in one of the lectures, is .... I told them the story & the were starring at me with question marks on the faces .... Guess What ??!! they Don't Know what FAT means , I was like ... u gotta B kidding me , don't u guys watch movies , read newspapers & most importantly , this is totally General Info =s
they actualy thought it was a car which is OMG so Funny , C'mon Girls .. 4 God's sake it's a military plane
I was like , c130 , does that ring a bell ? & there was silence all over the place =s
that was really weird 2 me , I mean who doesn't know C130 =S ??
On SaturDay, I attended el.6ebiya's Party , it was really Fun , though some weird things happened lol , but after all it was really fun with 7alOom & Miss Cheese & unfortunately Pinkiya didn't come .
Dr. Jaber Ziada , Dr.shereef , Dr.Moussa & many others were there , Girls went Crazy when they saw Dr. Ziada , everyone went & said hi except for us , I wanted 2 But 7alOom was like NO WAY =P
'n yeah my Pic in the newspaper is so very not good =P I look really angry , but I don't remember being angry then , I think I was shocked of sth that happened , I actually was terrified :'(
Me being a Good Madridista
P.S. overlook the spelling Mistakes PLZ =S
Bottom Line : I always Get what I want =)

A Dream of Mine Once Died, But ....

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here I am sitting in front of my computer thinking of My Kuwait's History Research , I did a good job so far I guess :)

U know .. doing this research was fun & very useful though it took a lot of time . 2 do the research I was going through this book about Kuwait & every page & another there he was with his so beautiful smile

he so wonderful , I look at Him & I say may he rest in PeaCe , I mean Wow .. really Wow , he's amazing , such a wonderful personality , he was so graceful .

every time I look at him or read about him , I'm amazed more & more , MaShallah tabarak al Ra7man , I look at him & I think .. MaShallah .. Kamel el.Aw9af Ya Yeba... allah yr7emah

I specifically liked eskandar ma3rof's description of baba Jaber when he said :

"معالي الشيخ جابر الأحمد الصباح وزير الماليه و الصناعة و النفط ، الوزير الباسم ذو اللحية العربية الجميلة التي تزين ذقنه الجميل و من فوقها ابتسامة دائمة مرتسمة فوق شفتيه الضاحكتين"

"ان الوزير بوجهه الضاحك الباسم ذو ذقن جميل بشعيرات سوداء داكنة و هو في عز الشباب المتدفق حيوية و نشاطاً"

I wish I could have met him , I wish

I always dreamed of meeting him , since I was a little kid , One of my Dreams Died with him :'(

this dream motivated me 2 B the best , it's one of the underlying factors that made me No.1 all the way in my LiFe , InShallah I always Do , Allah Yejma3nah feeh bel.Jannah

PS : There will Always B HOPE =D