I am ...

I've wanted to post for so long now but I've been to lazy to do so, done with my exams, feeling good & satisfied with myself, yet worrying abt others quit a lot. Some times I wish I could just stop worrying abt everyone & everything, I wish nothing really mattered I think I would've been much happier
then. I hate the fact that I care abt everyone & everything, makes me so worried all the time. I try so hard to fix things, everything, this is me.. I fix things, unfortunately there R things that u can not fix nor change

This is stupid. totally stupid. The end of a year doesn't really mean a beginning of sth new, sth better.. it's just a continuation for what has already been started.. let's not lie to ourselves, life is life as it is, it won't change & if anything is to undergo change then it is us.

when I at my lowest & was just about to fall. when I couldn't have felt any worse. when I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff, one step away from falling down, someone, out of the blue, tells me how much they admire my strength, that they wish they could be like me, emotionally strong.. this is so funny u know, the timing couldn't have been any better.. just reminded me of who I am, what I'm capable of & what is it that I can withstand

Some times I don't even know if I'm strong, some times I feel so weak, especially when I'm helpless.. GoSh I hate that feeling.. I'm the kind of ppl who love to control everything, who loves to keep things static just as they were & I hate changes I hate it, especially when these changes can not B by any mean controlled

so many ppl told me they think I'm cold, emotion wise I can be cold, this is actually good, really good, & very helpful in a plenty of situations. & No, I don't take it as an offense when they call me cold =p
I'm cold when I want 2 B cold, but those who know me well know what else beside cold can I be =p

 Good news ppl, Ian Thorpe, my fav swimmer, is planning a come back, YAY =]
I'm doing good these days, really good alf el7emdellah =] getting what I want, reaching out for my goals & dreams, I'm on the right track & it makes me so happy & very proud that my efforts R finally paying off =] Allah la y'3ayer 3lai InShallah

I'll B posting very soon InShalla, I have sth special in mind, so stay tuned =p

To my beloved one
I'm sorry for my love isn't enough, I'm sorry for I know my love will never be enough to make u happy, I'm sorry for my love can not heal your wounds nor relieve your pain. I promise you that my love will add no less that joy, happiness & pride to your life.


على الهامش:
و صرت انتظر أن يحين الوقت لكي أقول : "أزمة و عدت، الحمد لله"

4 التعليقات:

msha3erha يقول...

Im so glad you're doing good honey :D we missed you and I really miss your posts

Addictioneer يقول...

you worrying about everyone means you care. Check the ppl around you. You'll see most of them are careless. Be proud of that and try to balance between worrying about yourself and worrying about others as much as possible

It's nice that you find it funny when ppl say that you r strong on the edge of cliff. For me, I would leave the world and head to the nearest corner to cry. I tend to get emotional in such moments

Considering "The end of a year". I agree with you about what you said though I see it's good to lie to ourselves and say in the beginning of the new year I will change that and that. It's not like the year will change our situation rather than "we" will change situation in that year

nice post

Bint ilKuwait يقول...

il7imdillah 7abeebtii everything is going as u planned o inshallah alal ewafgich in every field in ur life!;** wb baack 7abeebtii;*

Hope يقول...


Thank you darling =]



you're right, it's the balance that I need to work on.
thanks a lot for passing by, I really appreciate your lovely words.


Bint ilKuwait

Ajma3een ya Rab
ma tga9reen Sweetheart