حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ

I'm supposed 2 B happy now.. I'm supposed to enjoy the free time I'm finally getting.. I'm supposed to be baking them a cake ='[ But I'm NOT.. I'm NOT happy, I'm not enjoying anything & I'm not baking a thing
I'm [HELPLESS] & speechless. Never did I ever imagine ppl can do this much to you, can harm & hurt others this much.. it's like I'm living in one of those movies.. What's happening to me is, simply, unreal..
& I became EMOTIONLESS, some how I did!! I miss them, I miss their noise & it breaks my heart that they've only been gone for less than a day now but I miss them so bad.. they're a piece of me.. & I have to fake that I'm ok, I'm so close to falling apart but I can't do that, I can't cry, I just can't.. I'm the Strong one out here, the one who every1 can lean on..
There are those unfortunate ones who that at this minute I decided not 2 ever forgive. Cuz when u use [them] when u fool [them] & when u hurt [them] then you've just signed your death sentence. When it comes 2 [them] there's no such a thing as forgiveness. Even if you think it's not worth it, I don't care really.. My job in life is 2 take care of 'em & I certainly won't let you go away with it I swear 2 god I won't, I'll hurt you, I will.. I'll hurt u with what you care for the most, with the dearest 2 ur heart.. I'll hurt you.. So evil & devilish? Yes, when you mess with my beloved ones I'm not that lil cute sweetheart any more

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لما تعيش كل حياتك و عيون الناس عليك.. القريب و البعيد.. لما كل الناس تستغرب من How perfect your life is
لما تكون صداقات و آخر شي يطلعون اغلبهم صداقة مصلحه.. لما يحسدونك حتى على الضحكة
& when everything was so perfect & then suddenly & so out of the blue it's not
لما يحطون عينهم باغلى شي عندك.. يخربون حياتك.. لما يجرحونك بروحك و قلبك و نفسك
ساعتها تعرف ان الدنيا مو بخير.. ساعتها بس يحق لك تكره.. تتعلم شلون تكره و تتعلم ان في اشياء لازم ما تسامح عليها

كل اللي اقدر اقوله حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل .. و حق كل انسان غيور و حاط عينه علينا اقوله الله لا يهينك ولا يبارك لك لا بفرح ولا بصحه ولا بعيال ولا بأي شي تشتهيه نفسك.

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Note 2 some ppl: 
 بدل الحسد تعلموا شي اسمه الغبطه

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I don't need anyone 2 judge me.. I just wrote what I'm feeling now, you're not me so you don't know how it feels.
2 end this crazy post all I can say is that I'm thankful 4 having the best ppl in my life, those who'd call 2 check  on me, those who always shower me with their love.. el7emdellah, having them is a blessing
Thank you for being there 4 me

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اللهم آجرني في مصيبتي و اخلفني خيرا منها

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