A Piece of Me

6 التعليقات
"lying on that bed.. attached to a countless number of machines.. no scratches on his face, neither bruises .. nor cuts .. Simply, no nothing .. except for that head injury.. he looked as if he was peacefully asleep .. surrounded by a blue atmosphere all around .. the smell of fear filling the air .. a room devoid of any sense of life ... this says it all "

and I lied to myself ... and I tried to believe that it wasn't you .. it wasn't you the one laying on that bed with all these machines attached to you .. keeping you alive .. alive for me ...
I tried to convince myself that it's not you .. it's some other guy .. but it didn't work
I didn't wanna come in .. I was afraid of what I might see ..

have you seen the look on my face the moment I entered that room ?I suffocated .. I couldn't breathe .. I was weak .. I fell down in disbelief.. I couldn't believe my eyes .. I thought "it can't be you .. not you my angel"

"you're too good .. bad things happen only to bad people .. & I can't think of one bad thing in you .. you're all good .. so good "

if it wasn't you then why did I break down ? why did the pulse rate go up every time I talked to you ? Did you hear me ? Did you sense my presence ?
& if it was you, then why didn't you answer me ? why didn't you reply to all of my cries ?

& for a whole week .. I lived a lie .. I lived on the hope that I would get a phone call telling me that they made a mistake .. the hope of hearing you're voice one more time kept me alive

I waited & waited & waited

you were clinically dead then .. & a week from the day I entered that room .. YOU left .. YOU left for good & took a piece of my soul with you .. you left ... no come back
YOU left without saying good bye

now .. today .. I still dream of you .. I still wake up scared at night .. I still wait for your calls
& I still love you
& I can't believed how I managed to live all these days without you.. I still wonder how have I made it ? ... I work hard, you know .. thinking that this would fill the empty space in my soul & the big gap in my little heart .. but days have proved that no nothing will help me forget .. that you'll live in me .. & that I'm now, living for you .. & no more for me

Death took you away from me,my friend .. & I regret not saying good bye .. I was too lazy & I didn't know that I wouldn't get another chance to say good bye ..
Today, & everyday since you've left my world .. my only wish was going back in time .. to hug you, hold you tight & never let go
if only I knew, you'd never talk to me again, you'd no longer be mine .. if only I knew
to my consolation,
now, I realize that you don't belong to our world .. you're too good to live in such a world .. you deserve a better place

& no one shall take better care of you more than Allah


My Friend, My Love, My Sweetheart ...
May your soul rest in Peace


.

.


That was a page of her life
written by me ..
my words .. from her heart
.
.
kindly tell me what do u guys think
I'd appreciate it =]

I always wanted to ..

12 التعليقات
So many things I wanna say .. so many things I wanna do , but very little time I have
the Uni is taking over my Life .. so many lectures, so many studies, essay 'n research paper
& the worst part is getting sick .. Gosh it's so tiring already & getting sick doesn't make it any better .. ell7emDellah I do feel much better now
As usual, the only good thing in my week was the field visit .. really learned a lot & it was really fun watching them cut ppl's gums' .. take off their teeth ..
I especially loved it when we went to the Surgical Section .. 7adda cool
o I don't think I'll ever think of Pedo for my major .. I don't get along with kids already .. my bad past experience with dentists as a child probably prevents me from being a pedodontist, Some PPl find it really weird the fact that I really wanna B a dentist & that I actually love it .. considering my history with dentists
I guess I just don't want ppl to go through what I have been through ..
.
.
I'm invited to a wedding 2morrow ... Guess What ??!!
I'm not going lol
though I thought I was out of excuses ... it turned out I'm not
I've got a bunch of good ones
+
I'm sick & I'm starting to recover
.
.
what's the thing u always dreamed of .. u always wanted, & u know u know won't get it ?
for me, I always wanted to B tall =p *silly isn't it ?*
I never liked being short .. I hate standing next to the boys =[ faShlaaa
they always make fun of me .. 'n one of my cousins is so very tall MaShallah, when he stands next to me he goes like "aren't u gonna grow ? ever ?"
I tried everything .. just bcuz I wanted to B taller .. I even started the habit of drinking milk everyday *abt 5 or 6 yrs ago* & I'm not a big fan of milk .. bs mako fayda .. it's not meant to B =[
it seems that our inner desires always seek what's in the hands of others
I know I'll always wish that I was taller .. bs ell7emdellah .. I have pretty much everything I ever wanted, except for this & I guess, this satisfies me

I want it back

16 التعليقات
I'm not happy with my current situation ... I really hate this but gotta admit that my Arabic is fading away .. I've noticed this a while ago .. tried 2 4get abt it .. ignore it .. but then realized this is not gonna solve the problem =]

My Arabic is really fading away .. just like that .. dunno is it bcuz of school 'n the fact that we study everything in EngliSh .. maybe it's Bcuz I've stopped reading good creative Arabic .. last time was probably back when I was in High School .. Not good I know =$

I hate it like this .. I really do .. My Arabic was so good .. really good
That other day I felt like doing crosswords & I couldn't .. who thought this could happen to me
GoSh I stopped doing them cuz they were too easy & now I can't even solve a decent one ..
lately, I've found my self in situations when I'm out of words "in Arabic" .. doesn't feel good
want my Arabic back

One word can describe this .. Horrible .. totally Horrible ='[
I feel awful when I look back at the way things were .. my writings .. I was so Good .. Aaaahh .. most of my teachers admired my style & thought I would have a good future in writing
Well, I guess, Not any more ='[

I guess I'm gonna go back to my old habit of going through the Dictionary
U ppl may find this weird but I really love the dictionary .. at times I think of Kuwaiti words like old Kuwaiti .. o I go look 'em up in the dictionary .. O many of them r surprisingly there, with pretty much the same meaning, the one we use

& maybe I 'll read some good Arabic books .. maybe .. I'm not sure abt this, if I do have the time then InShallah I will .. can't live like this .. Really Need my Arabic back .. I can't even think of many synonyms for a word =$


....


Can't believe it's the weekend already
the best part of the week was our Field visit .. Ya 7lwey o ana Dentist =$ .. I would make one hell of a dentist =p MaShalla 3lai So professional *need 2 show off 4 a while =p*
I'm the cutest Dentist on Planet Earth =p


....


Pics from here 'n there :

Dental lab
Storage Room =p

it feels totally amazing 2 B sitting on the dentist's chair rather than the Patient's =p


As I was going out of the Uni this afternoon , I noticed this huge cloud of smoke .. guess the building is on fire
Hopefully nobody got hurt

Back 2 School

11 التعليقات
Aaaaaah .. I'm so tired ..
Never ever likes School in my whole life & I doubt I ever will ='[
I'm still trying to adjust & get used to everything

this past week was very tiring although we didn't have much lectures .. but phase 2 is nothing like phase 1 .. the content of some of the lectures shocked me a bit .. Allah YeSahhel...
next week is gonna B a very hectic one .. we'll start our English lectures & the # of lectures will increase as we go on .. we'll also have a Field visit
+ a major problem I'm facing is
Food
ambaih we have pretty much nothing good in our Uni Cafeteria .. kella uneatable =p .. either fast food or food that doesn't taste good & makes me sick .. this is the last thing I need cuz my diet is bad already =[
chan zain I can get my lunch from home with me everyday
3ad eating is not my Fav hobby .. bs gotta eat 2 survive =p
4 God's Sake we R in Med School .. We need healthy food
.....
u know how I was complaining abt kids that other day .. well, I'm proud 2 tell u that I managed to control 'em & not the opposite yesterday .. felt good lol
they usually use their innocent childish smiles to get what they want.. & believe me they're so good at it .. but I fought back lol
I managed things the way I wanted 2 without upsetting them .. this is a real accomplishment, I'm proud of myself .. eee o I got them things 2 keep them busy from using my stuff lol .. it worked .. I actually brought old pics of them .. they didn't recognize themselves .. they were so cute
.....
P.S. : might not update 4 a while .. depending on how busy I am =]